In this article, we cover what resistance is and how to overcome our psychological barriers.
What is Resistance?
Have you ever found yourself saying “no” to something before you even thought about why? Maybe someone gives you advice, and even if it’s good, you push back. Or you’re faced with something new, and instead of being curious, you tense up or feel annoyed. That’s resistance. And whether we realize it or not, we all do it.
Resistance is our primary defence mechanism and believe it or not it stems from fear – fear of changing the status quo of our ideas, lifestyle, personality or behaviours. Deep down we are reluctant to confront some uncomfortable facts about ourselves, and these are the very things that prevent us from having genuine conversations, open to communication with others and a true understanding of ourselves.
Resistance isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s quiet—like ignoring a feeling, pretending not to care, or forcing a smile when you’re really upset. It’s the voice in your head that says, “I already know,” or “This won’t work.” It can even show up as anger, sarcasm, withdrawal, or trying to control everything around us.
Is Resistance Protection?
But here’s something important: resistance doesn’t come from nowhere. It grows from what we’ve learned and experienced in the past. We resist the present moment because we think we already know how things will go. We use our past to protect ourselves. That’s human. That’s natural. But sometimes, this habit blocks us from growing.
You see, resistance is different from protection. Your brain knows how to protect you from real danger. That’s built-in—it keeps you safe. But resistance? That’s something we *learn*. Over time, we get used to holding back, pretending, or hiding. It becomes normal to build a wall inside ourselves, even when the threat isn’t real.
Let’s be honest: when we resist, we can become manipulative, aggressive, or defensive. We justify bad reactions with phrases like “That’s just who I am,” or “They made me do it.” We create stories that keep us from facing what’s actually going on. And we get stuck—repeating the same behaviours, expecting different results.
Dismantling the Walls
Ask yourself this:
- Why am I resisting right now?
- When do I resist the most—at home, at school, with friends or family?
- What part of me is resisting? Is it fear? Pride? Uncertainty?
It’s OK to not know. Not knowing is how we learn. What’s not OK is using the same old reactions to face new problems. That’s not freedom—that’s a trap.
There is no real freedom in resistance. Freedom comes when we’re present, open, and honest—with others and ourselves. You are not separate from the world around you. Like nature, your mind and body grow best when they’re open to change, not frozen by fear.
So let’s talk about it:
- What do you resist?
- When was there a time you shut down, pushed away, or gave up before really trying?
- How did it feel? What would you do differently now?
If you want to try a few activities yourself or with some friends here are some examples. Not only will you get to know yourself better, but your friendships will be closer, and more improved. And, if you are in a relationship, it could make the difference if you both wanted to be more intimate.
- The Wall Exercise: Draw or write out the “walls” you’ve built—fears, habits, thoughts that hold you back. Share them and see what you have in common.
- Resistance Stories: Write a short story about a moment you resisted something. Then rewrite it imagining what would’ve happened if you stayed open instead.
- Freedom Circles: Sit in a circle and share one thing you resisted this week and how it felt. Listen without judgment. You’ll be surprised how powerful it is to be heard.
- Nature Walk: Spend time outside and observe how nature doesn’t resist—it bends, it flows, it adapts. Talk about what we can learn from that.
Resistance isn’t the enemy. But when we understand it, we can choose differently. Let’s work together to regulate our emotions and support others.
And that’s where real strength begins.
